Tag Archives: And I wait

29th Aug: Relapse or not?!?!!


After having a REALLY tough couple of weeks physically involving feeling like I was having a relapse, lots of falls etc. but was told that its not just my body compensating for not having any meds in me = its confused!!!


I conclude with excitement/dread that Spring starts next week – A SEASON WHERE RELAPSES ARE AT THEIR HEIGHT AS IT GETS WARMER.


I am particularly encouraged by a dream I had last Saturday night (23rd August) which has stayed clearly at the forefront of my mind.  I dreamt that I was somewhere (home, hospital who knows) & I had just been informed that the scan had showed the results we needed & therefore was being sent to Sydney!


I was then told I had 2 weeks to get there for the transplant!  I then remember saying to myself ‘wow that was an easy relapse’.


On that sunday I went to a service at the Nelson Cathedral to hear a Zambian speaker from London – his message was powerful & really spoke to me …. but thats another story:)  After the time of worship a lady got up & said that she feels she needed to share what was engraved on a piece of furniture there; ‘Be Prepared’.


I felt this was sooooo for me!  I have been feeling a sense of  urgency to finish getting the information ready & start handing it over to a friend who’s going to cover my job for me.


A complete step of faith but something I know I need to do …..

22nd Aug: The waiting (part 2)

Shadow of death

Its been 12 days since I had any meds in my body today & man am I feeling it!

The last 5 days have been really rough involving 2 falls (luckily at home with no injuries) which I had to get people to help me back up, am experiencing major fatigue, a stabbing nuero pain in my head (my left side) & more. The weakenss is particularly of my upper limbs – am feeling really weak.

As usual I have been taking my temp regularly to make sure I dont have, I generally dont feel unwell (flu etc.) but need to be safe.

I realised on this past Tuesday that we are coming into spring, this is when relapses are very if not more common.  I used to dread Spring every year for this reason.  However as unpleasant as it is may it bring one on…

While I have canceled appointments to give myself more rest over the next few days I find myself really frustrated as I LOVE being busy & had/have an exciting few days ahead planned.

I find myself reflecting on my favourite scripture – Psalm 23

“The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
 For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.”

I have recently been good at asking for help but know I need to now rest & see what happens (VERY hard for me).  As it says in verse 4 I will not (choose not to) fear  as I am assured that the Lord (the lover of my soul) is with me & is in charge!