20th Sept: Feeling Frustrated!


Psalm 121

1. I will lift up my eyes to the hills— From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, Nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;He shall preserve your soul.

The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in From this time forth, and even forevermore.

20th September

I write this sitting here looking out to the beautiful western ranges in faith knowing that despite how I feel the Lord is in charge.  This coming Tuesday it will be 6 weeks since I had any disease modifying drug in my body & oh boy am I feeling it!  I am really battling fatigue, muscle ache, incredible pain in my head and worsening of symptoms (I say sitting here with a completely numb left leg).

The change in season; the spring weather is definitely having a toll on me – but to this point without a relapse:(  I think the worse part of it is that I dont know how my body will be day to day or should I say hour to hour? Im particularly finding it frustrating when I see on the many face book pages I follow about others being accepted and undergoing the transplant

BUT I MUST REMIND MYSELF THAT THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WAY WORSE OFF THEN ME! So in the meantime I carry on keeping busy as I can, looking to the hills while trusting in my Lord.

Isaiah 55

9. “As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Psalm 91

4. He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,